Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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