i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
