i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
