You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
So. Much. Porn.
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