the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
