Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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