I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
