he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
