why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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