There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
