That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
