HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
