I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize