i just google imaged poop.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
