just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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