shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
