my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
