So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize