worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
