You made me cry and you don't even care
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
