Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.