Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.

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(716): View more from New York

He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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(425): View more from Washington

I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.

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(509): View more from Washington

I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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(503): View more from Oregon

The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."

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(613): View more from Ontario

You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.

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