I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
