Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
