So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
