took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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