farters have to be the big spoon...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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