I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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