I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
false alarm, still single
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize