Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
