I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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