How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
