That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
