After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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