isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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