The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
