I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
