what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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