i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
