she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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