whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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