He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize