then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize