hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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