Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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