Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
