??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I cannot find my penis.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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