I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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