i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize