Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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