we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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