I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize