he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
