If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize