i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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