I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
