My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
