Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
