I must be too annoying 4 u.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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