last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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