just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
