She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
