So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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