Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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