Having a random hookup so left but love u
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Terrible idea I love it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
